When you have sexual intercourse with someone, you make a connection with them that will never be erased. You give them a little bit of your heart - your love - your self, that you will NEVER get back. Never. It's a tremendous gift, don't ever give it lightly.

Be as sure as you can that the person you give this gift to is worthy of it and will appreciate it. And, know too, that a bit of them will ride with you for the rest of your life.

Choose your heart's companions carefully.

-------------- An addendum ------------------

The above was written years ago, this chat happened in April 2009 with a young lady with a new boyfriend:

11:30pm -- Young Lady

we are having the sleep over chat

11:32pm -- Young Lady

what do i say

2:04am -- Young Lady
is offline.

2:20am -- Young Lady
is online.

2:28am -- Me

Sorry, got punted from the machine.

Where do you stand on the idea?

2:29am -- Young Lady

uh... gonna wait a year

2:29am -- Me

way better than hoppin' right in.

Cool.

Hindsight says that while it can be lots o' fun, it's also lots o' pain.

2:31am -- Young Lady

plus, this summer, going to be living under my parents house

2:32am -- Me

plus, biblical teaching is on the against it side.

and I kind of understand the why of it now.

2:33am -- Young Lady

its the last level of intimacy there is

2:33am -- Me

yup

I wrote this years ago, even before I started the Christian walk:
http://carl.west.home.comcast.net/~carl.west/DoingIt.html [the top part of this page -cw]

2:35am -- Young Lady

brilliant

2:36am -- Me

Those women in my past each still have a part of my heart. It makes it hard to giv my whole heart to someone.

This can be a problem.

2:37am -- Young Lady

i want the guy I choose to be THE guy

2:37am -- Me

Bingo.

2:39am -- Me

My last GF (the one that got me back to church) was a virgin bride at 34. If he hadn't turned out to be an abuser-asshole, she'd have been entirely pleased with whatever sex life they had.

We talked about it a lot.

2:40am -- Me

And she was bright enough to have figured out how to make it good.

very good.

(no, I didn't find out _for_sure_)

2:40am -- Young Lady

lol

okay

2:43am -- Me

This is one of those topics where the whole 'Tree of Knowledge' and 'Ignorance is Bliss' thing comes together.

Bliss is nothing to sneeze at.

2:44am -- Young Lady

i love being ignorant sometimes

if you don't know it how can you miss it?

2:44am -- Me

exactly.

At htis point, no matter who I'm with next (last?) Somewhere in my past there will be someone who was better in _some_ way.

Unless I'm _incredibly_ lucky.

2:48am -- Me

That's the problem with porn, romantic fiction, Disney, and Hallmark: They all promote unrealistic expectations.